So I know I haven't posted in some time and I'm sorry. I have been trying to focus on YouTube, but being ill has put some videos off and I haven't been posting as much as I'd like too. I am a lot better now- tonsillitis at this beginning of the year, broken finger at the beginning of Feb and then a virus over the last few weeks. I have also had an update on my mental health which is what I wanted to share with you now.
As you know from reading previous 'getting to know me' posts, you'll see that I suffer with mental health issues. The other day, I finally received a diagnosis... I suffer with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Now I'm not entirely sure what it means, but the doctor explained it to me in a really easy way which made sense. Everyone has a personality, but unlike everyone else, I struggle to contain my emotions. I can go from 1 to 100 in a matter of seconds and it can take a while for me to calm down.
I'm still getting my head around BPD as I have no idea how it will change my life, but I know it's a disorder which will change everything I know. I recently started a new relationship with a wonderful guy, who supports me and understands that there will be times where I will say something I don't mean. I explained to him that it won't be me saying those things e.g. I hate you, as he knows it's not true. He wants to help and support me in every way he can and I'm so thankful I found him.
When I've had these outbursts of emotions before, it feels like I have no control of my actions or emotions and it's really scary. It feels like something has taken over my body and mind and is controlling what I do and say. I say something, rather than someone because it doesn't feel like a person controlling what I do, it feels like a force which has taken over my body- kinda like being possessed (that's the only way I can describe how it feels). These outbursts can occur at anytime and anywhere, which makes me look like a bad person if I have an outburst whilst out in public.
I wanted to share this with you as it's still new to me and if I'm able to help just 1 person who reads this post, that's great. I also had an idea of starting a mental health blog, where I can post how I'm feeling, what treatment I'm getting, just things like that as we NEED to talk more about mental health! I don't want to be labelled as different to everyone else because I have borderline personality disorder, I want people to know I'm still a human and I'm able to live an everyday life. I work, I'm in a relationship, I can be independent, which some people think isn't possible because I have a mental 'illness'. YES it's an illness, YES I'm getting treatment, YES I AM HUMAN!
If you want to read more on BPD, click here.
Xxx
Sara
As you know from reading previous 'getting to know me' posts, you'll see that I suffer with mental health issues. The other day, I finally received a diagnosis... I suffer with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Now I'm not entirely sure what it means, but the doctor explained it to me in a really easy way which made sense. Everyone has a personality, but unlike everyone else, I struggle to contain my emotions. I can go from 1 to 100 in a matter of seconds and it can take a while for me to calm down.
I'm still getting my head around BPD as I have no idea how it will change my life, but I know it's a disorder which will change everything I know. I recently started a new relationship with a wonderful guy, who supports me and understands that there will be times where I will say something I don't mean. I explained to him that it won't be me saying those things e.g. I hate you, as he knows it's not true. He wants to help and support me in every way he can and I'm so thankful I found him.
When I've had these outbursts of emotions before, it feels like I have no control of my actions or emotions and it's really scary. It feels like something has taken over my body and mind and is controlling what I do and say. I say something, rather than someone because it doesn't feel like a person controlling what I do, it feels like a force which has taken over my body- kinda like being possessed (that's the only way I can describe how it feels). These outbursts can occur at anytime and anywhere, which makes me look like a bad person if I have an outburst whilst out in public.
I wanted to share this with you as it's still new to me and if I'm able to help just 1 person who reads this post, that's great. I also had an idea of starting a mental health blog, where I can post how I'm feeling, what treatment I'm getting, just things like that as we NEED to talk more about mental health! I don't want to be labelled as different to everyone else because I have borderline personality disorder, I want people to know I'm still a human and I'm able to live an everyday life. I work, I'm in a relationship, I can be independent, which some people think isn't possible because I have a mental 'illness'. YES it's an illness, YES I'm getting treatment, YES I AM HUMAN!
If you want to read more on BPD, click here.
Xxx
Sara
