Update

Hello everyone!

So I know it's been a while since I posted here and on YouTube, but I wanted to do a little update as to why I haven't been active on YouTube. As some of you may know who follow me on Instagram, I'm pregnant! It came as a big shock to my boyfriend, myself and our families. It wasn't planned but after talking it through together, we are keeping it.

If any of you have been pregnant, or know someone who has/is pregnant, you'll know that they have absolutely no energy in the first trimester. This is why I have been absent. The thought of filming a video when I've got no energy doesn't feel right to me, and would feel forced and not myself. Once I hit the second trimester (2 weeks away) I'll be back to posting videos, both baby related and beauty related. I hav also thought about maybe turning this blog into a baby related blog, so once the baby is here, I'm still able to be active during nap times and feeding, without having to worry about the baby waking up. Plus I'll be very tired to begin with, and won't want to be in front of the camera.

I would love to get your feedback as to what posts you see, what YouTube videos I post, and also any tips and tricks with pregnancy and once the baby is here. I'm hoping to upload haul videos of clothing, furniture, room tour- which will be my room tour as the baby will be sharing my room, tips and tricks videos, just lots of pregnancy related videos.

Hopefully within the next few weeks, I'll be uploading a YouTube video.. I'm wanting to do a blog of my next scan, but I'm not sure how the hospital will feel about me filming whilst getting the scan done, so we'll see.

Xxx

Sara

Getting to know me

So I know I haven't posted in some time and I'm sorry. I have been trying to focus on YouTube, but being ill has put some videos off and I haven't been posting as much as I'd like too. I am a lot better now- tonsillitis at this beginning of the year, broken finger at the beginning of Feb and then a virus over the last few weeks. I have also had an update on my mental health which is what I wanted to share with you now.

As you know from reading previous 'getting to know me' posts, you'll see that I suffer with mental health issues. The other day, I finally received a diagnosis... I suffer with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Now I'm not entirely sure what it means, but the doctor explained it to me in a really easy way which made sense. Everyone has a personality, but unlike everyone else, I struggle to contain my emotions. I can go from 1 to 100 in a matter of seconds and it can take a while for me to calm down.

I'm still getting my head around BPD as I have no idea how it will change my life, but I know it's a disorder which will change everything I know. I recently started a new relationship with a wonderful guy, who supports me and understands that there will be times where I will say something I don't mean. I explained to him that it won't be me saying those things e.g. I hate you, as he knows it's not true. He wants to help and support me in every way he can and I'm so thankful I found him.

When I've had these outbursts of emotions before, it feels like I have no control of my actions or emotions and it's really scary. It feels like something has taken over my body and mind and is controlling what I do and say. I say something, rather than someone because it doesn't feel like a person controlling what I do, it feels like a force which has taken over my body- kinda like being possessed (that's the only way I can describe how it feels). These outbursts can occur at anytime and anywhere, which makes me look like a bad person if I have an outburst whilst out in public.

I wanted to share this with you as it's still new to me and if I'm able to help just 1 person who reads this post, that's great. I also had an idea of starting a mental health blog, where I can post how I'm feeling, what treatment I'm getting, just things like that as we NEED to talk more about mental health! I don't want to be labelled as different to everyone else because I have borderline personality disorder, I want people to know I'm still a human and I'm able to live an everyday life. I work, I'm in a relationship, I can be independent, which some people think isn't possible because I have a mental 'illness'. YES it's an illness, YES I'm getting treatment, YES I AM HUMAN!

If you want to read more on BPD, click here.

Xxx

Sara 

YouTube channel

Hello everyone,

So I finally plucked up the courage to start a YouTube channel! I currently have 2 videos uploaded (1 from Instagram, the other I filmed earlier today). 

I wanted to let you guys know that I have started to upload on my YouTube channel. I will leave a link down below, don't forget to subscribe!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ3Y8MOCceU

Xxx

Sara

New Year, New Me?

First off I want to apologise for not taking part in Blogmas like I said I would! I really wanted to take part in Blogmas but everything just got on top of me with my mental health. In this post I will be updating you on what's going on with that so you know where I'm at.

At the beginning of December- 5th December to be exact, I had an appointment with my local GP. I was able to sit down with her and explain what I was concerned about and what I wanted to happen. After talking to her, I came away with antidepressants and was waiting a referral for a mental health clinic near where I live. I started the course of antidepressants the following day and have noticed a change in my mood- I'm still feeling depressed and suicidal, but it's nowhere near as much as it used to be. Once the referral came through, I went to this clinic for an assessment and want put on antipsychotics, as well as other tablets to help with the symptoms. I was put on the antipsychotics to help with the voices I hear. I've been hearing voices for about 5 years now and since my mental health took a massive turn for the worst, that's when I decided it was time to sort it out! I am currently taking 5 tablets a day to help with my mental health but will keep you updated on my journey as I hopefully discover what's going on in my head soon!

My goal for this year is to blog more. I am still working out when I'll post, but it will most likely be once a week until I get back into the swing of things. I will be going back to physically handwriting my posts out so all I have to do is copy it from the notebook, which made my blogging life so much easier! It also helps me keep a track on what I've written so I don't post the same or something similar.

I will do another update in a couple months time (not including my mental health journey) to review how the blogging is going. I am also thinking of doing a review for once a month of how that specific month has been- I would write down the date and what happened so I could do a mini review/update from that month and can see how far I've come from the beginning of the year to the end!

Xxx

Sara

Blogmas day 3- Christmas photo challenge

I found the above picture on Pinterest and loved the idea of doing a Christmas photo challenge. I will be uploading the first 7 pictures to Instagram as soon as I get home (I tweeted earlier about why I've been missing from Blogmas) but I can't wait to try the photo challenge! 

I did credit the original creator of this post on Instagram- it took a lot of searching to find her, but luckily she had commented on a post of someone who used her # which made it somewhat easier to find it. She didn't comment when she created this challenge but it just happy to see it still going around! 

Keep an eye out on Instagram later tonight of the posts from this challenge!

Xxx

Sara

Blogmas day 1- Christmas bucket list

         

It's that time of the year again where we get to talk about CHRISTMAS!!! As I sorta explained in a tweet, I'm doing Blogmas a little different this year. I will still be posting but it'll be every other day rather than everyday. This is because of personal issues and work. I get that people have a full time jobs and still post everyday- I admire you, but due to a recent post, I am struggling with motivation to write (I shall keep you updated on the journey I'm facing).

Anyway back to the fun stuff!! I thought the first Blogmas post this year should be a Christmas bucket list. I was searching through Pinterest at anything Christmas related and came across a few different bucket lists. It gave me the idea to do one myself as I want to cram as much Christmas stuff in as I can before the big day! I'm not going to make it a long list, but a list I can do whilst I'm working too. 

- Drink homemade hot chocolate

- Take a Christmassy picture with a red cup

- Decorate my tree

- Start a new Christmas tradition

- Visit Winter Wonderland

- Bake cookie

- Watch 3 Christmas films in a row

- Make a Christmas card

- Make Christmas decorations

- Build a gingerbread house

- Visit a Christmas market

Let me know what you get up too this Christmas!

Xxx

Sara

Makeup Haul

Now this isn't going to be a massive post as I haven't bought that much makeup recently, but I thought I'd include the Tanya Burr Christmas advent calendar. I was very impatient and opened it up early- I will post what came in it, but I cant remember the days. Another reason I opened it earlier is because I purchased the House of Fraser advent calendar. I do hope to buy another calendar, it's just finding one, so please tell me which one I should get!

I've been slacking in the buying makeup department, I mean I still get loads of joy out of it but I'm just struggling to chose what to buy. With this being said, my dad miraculously gifts me with some money a few weeks back so I, of course, went on a shopping spree! As I didn't own anything from Chanel, I really wanted to get something. I was looking on the House of Fraser website and saw the Le Blanc De Chanel multi-use illuminating base. As its a multi-use base you can use it for a number of things. Their websit says you can use it as a : 

- foundation base

- concealer

- illuminating base

- radiance booster

I use it as a foundation base and an illuminating base. It makes my foundation last all day whilst adding a subtle luminosity to the face. I always refer back to my skin type, but as I've got oily skin I've always been scared of anything illuminating- including highlighter, as I'm worried it'll make me look oily and shiny, but this base doesn't do that! I'm so glad I picked this up as my skin feel softer, it smells amazing and my foundation lasts all day.

Another item I have been wanting to pick up for ages was the Laura Mercier loose setting powder. I picked up the universal shade as I'm so pale, I've found translucent still adds colour to my skin! This powder feels so light on the skin and sets my foundation in place all day. It doesn't cake up on my face as it's finely milled which helps to keep it feeling light on my skin. It contains light reflectors which help to blur lines and it doesn't settle into pores or lines. It is also non-comedogenic and oil-free! 

Now I think NYX is becoming my favourite drugstore brand. It's cheap, the quality is amazing and they offer a wide range of colours in their soft matte lip creams- which are AMAZING! I picked up their above and beyond full coverage concealer in porcelain and the Proof It! Waterproof Eye Shadow Primer to see how it compares to the Urban Decay primer potion. I will have a separate post up about how well the concealer wears and how the eyeshadow primer compares. 

I will have a new post up this week about my thoughts on the concealer and primer, and possibly a new makeup routine.

Xxx

Sara